Skulduggery Pleasant Drabbles
by JellyfishSisters
Summary: Drabbles of all genres, of all pairings and of all sizes concerning the Skully P series shall feature here! I know there are many of these, but here are some more! I doubt I shall go above T, but if I do, I will warn you on the drabble itself, so do read my little ANs. Nothing is uncompleted at the moment. Hope you like! - Leo Phthalo and Lexi Sphinx
1. Training

**Those of you reading Purple Haired Craze: no I have not forgotten you. I've had this drabble in my notebooks for a few years (so I wrote this when I was fourteen probably). I have barely altered it, except for my spelling mistakes grammar issues, so yeah... Quite fluffy, supposed to be funny, but yeah, not sure how well I achieved that.**

**I would say this occurred sometime around Death Bringer, probably, but really it could have happened anytime.**

**Pairings- Ummm, Valduggery, but only if you're really looking for it**

**DISCLAIMER-**

**Lexi- You've finally started posting the stuff in your many notebooks! Will you post Valith?**

**Irene- Maybe. Probably. Very likely yes... This is going to be a random dump of random drabbles, of varying lengths, of varying pairings. You may PM/Review suggestions. Actually, please do, I love you guys. The characters will never be my own, nor the world. They all belong to le Golden God. ON WITH THE... _drabbles?_**

Valkyrie Cain swore very loudly as the man she was duelling threw her back into the wall. She only just managed to break her fall slightly by manipulating the air to give herself a cushioned landing.

Despite the fact that her head was ringing and her shoulders aching, she launched herself back at the man, anticipating the steps her would take to attack her again, incorporating them instinctively into her next strike. As he stepped to the side, lifting his leg, prepared to kick her side, she moved swiftly from her run into a smooth block, fending off the initial kick whilst easily grabbing her attacker's ankle, dragging him off his feet.

She took the time he spent winded on the floor to her advantage, dropping down to punch him neatly across the jaw. He was out like a light.

Turning to face Skulduggery, who had been watching her critically from the sides of the training hall in the Sanctuary, she grinned widely. Two healers, who had been assigned in case someone got hurt, dashed into the main training circle to tend to the unconscious man, a Sanctuary Trainer.

"How did I do?" Valkyrie asked the skeleton, walking towards him steadily, slightly out of breath, but feeling good.

"Not bad," he stated, handing her a bottle of water, which she took gratefully. "You beat your last best time."

She gave him a smirk from behind the rim of the bottle. "Awesome! What's my new time?"

Skulduggery looked down at his phone. "Fifty-six seconds. You would have done it in less if you had been on your toes right from the beginning, admittedly some colourful language on your behalf, but even so-"

"Wait a second," Val interrupted as the news finally hit her. "Are you saying I got a better time than you? The Great Skeleton Dectetive?"

Skulduggery looked a bit sheepish. "Um-"

"Oh my God! I have! Your best time is fifty-eight!"

"I was hoping you might not have noticed that," he muttered.

"I got a better time than Skul-man!"

"Please don't call me that. And don't rub it in. It's not professional."

"Screw that! I have every right to rub it in your face!"

**So, yeah, I will be posting more... Hopefully soon :)- _Irene Phthalo_**

**_Oohhh... _Extra note! I am going to be changing my pseudonym at some point, because Irene isn't really me. Any suggestions from you guys will be welcomed. Names that have something to do with being warrior-like, or tomboyish that are also pretty will be perfect! **


	2. Reunion

**Unbelievably, I managed to get my first review on these drabbles within fifteen minutes of me going public... That is absolutely ridiculous,**** but thanks anyway, Insanity. Love you too!**

**Review Replies:**

**Insanity- I will update the PHC, currently half-way through the next chapter! Might have it posted up this evening or at some point tomorrow if I'm quick about it. Still got a little writers block; I kinda stumbled into the bit of the story I hadn't really planned, which is the middle. There is a bit of the middle that I know what I'm doing. This is not it. -_- Ah well. MORE DRABBLES INSTEAD!**

**Ash- Aww, thanks for following and favouriting! I will write a Sexter oneshot, but currently I am typing up the drabbles I've had for agesss and most of them are Valduggery centered. Shouldn't be too long though :)**

**Skelly- Hope you like this one. It's vveeryyyyyy fluffy!**

**Lexi- But that one is really bad! And it's not even finished! And don't call me Dipshit! People might figure out I'm not as smart as I make out to be!**

**MelonLord- YOU GOT AN ACCOUNT! WELL DONE! I will update PHC, chapter is in the making!**

**So this drabble is set after Valkyrie returns from her five year absence. She is in her early twenties and Alice is six! Hope ya like!**

**DISCLAIMER-**

**Lexi- I still don't see any Valith! WHERE DID IT GO?! WHY DOESN'T IT EXIST YET!?**

**Irene- Ummmm... **

**Lexi- Have you even thought about a plotline for the drabble?**

**Irene- I... noooo...**

**Lexi- SAY WHAAATTT?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? SOOO WUDEE!**

**Irene- I appear to have annoyed le Lexi again. I must go and appease her. Derek Landy owns the world, etc. You know the drill... LEX? COME BACK! I HAVE GUMMY BEARS AND KENDALL MINT CAKE!**

**Lexi- I WIL FOREVER BE YOUR FRIEND!**

**Irene- Good. ON WITH THE STORY!**

Alice had been sitting in the living room drawing peacefully when Stephanie came home.

It had been a surprise for her and her parents, who both gave Steph a disbelieving look when they opened the door and then proceeded to smother the girl in their arms, all three of them crying with happiness.

Skulduggery stepped past them smoothly, walking over to the small six year old. Alice had just slid off the chair, tempted to go and join the hug, but still a little wary. After all, she barely knew Stephanie, only really recognising her from the photos and the one clear memory she had of her. Skulduggery mentioned her every single time he came over to play, talking about what she was like and how she saved the world.

The Skeleton lifted the child easily, and Alice flung her little arms around him. "That's Steph'nie, right?" she asked him, tentatively.

He nodded. "I went to pick her up from where she had been living. She's come home now."

Alice looked up at him, her deep blue eyes looking thoughtful. "Forever, right? She's not going to go away again and make you, mummy and daddy sad, right?"

"You'll have to ask her that," the detective said.

Stephanie had broken away from her parents, giving Alice an odd look. The younger sister's face broke into a wide grin and she slid out of Skulduggery's arms and dashed over to the elder.

"You aren't going to leave again, right?" Alice asked her, not moving to hug Stephanie yet.

Steph crouched down. "I won't. You remember me."

Alice shook her head. "I only have one memory, but Skully has told me everything about you. You are his partner, and you are a Detective that works for the Irish Sanctuary. You can do magic- your hands glow and you can make lightning, but I can make fire but not here because I am not near any water." She said this all in a rush, feeling quite pleased with herself.

The dark haired girl smiled, pulling the little brunette into a hug, lifting her despite the fact that Alice was pretty sure she was getting heavy. It was alright for Skulduggery, who had no muscles or nerves to feel such strain, but this meant Stephanie was very strong, just like the skeleton had said.

They all crammed onto the sofa, except Skulduggery, who went to go and make them all tea.

"How have you been then, Steph?" mummy asked.

"I've been good. Still trying to forgive myself, but I figured that I have had plenty enough time to think about what I've done and come to terms with it."

Alice had no idea what Stephanie could possibly have done wrong. Skulduggery had told her that she was a hero, but the small girl was getting tired. The excitement of meeting her sister again was beginning to take it's toll on her, and she began to drift off, forgetting that Stephanie was upset with herself.

"Don't go again please, Steph'nie."

"I won't." The gentle tug of her sisters hand through her hair lulled her into dreams of adventure, detectives and magic.

**So, a little rubbish because, once again, I wrote this agggeeesss ago! But the fluffles for this idea have been in my head for a while now and I can't believe that barely anyone has thought to make a VALKYRIE RETURNS story from Alice's point of view. Somebody come and take my ideas! THEY MUST BE WRITTEN.**

**Btw, concerning names, I'm highly considering Leona Phthalo as my new pseudonym, but please, continue to send me ideas! I love them.**

**Bye for now!- _Irene_**


	3. Hunters

**This idea came into my head a few days ago and it literally became one of the cutest things I could think of. So I wrote it down. ****I have used some of my OCs from my other fic, The PHC, so those of you reading that should recognize them.**

**Also, my pseudonym has been officially changed to Leora Andie Lacertae Phthalo. Thank you so much for all the names you have sent. I will add them all to my name collection (no I am not a saddo) which I will eventually publish on my profile for others to use! My Wattpad and Tumblr names have changed too; I am leoraphthalo on both, so please follow me on both... I am lonely over there...**

**Review Replies:**

**Guest (Apr 12)- Awwww, thank you! Hope you like this one!**

**Pheobe- Hey! Yeah, I've been wanting a Valkyrie returns from Alice's POV for aggggeeesss... I got fed up of waiting and wrote it myself! And yeah, Valkyrie is badass! I love your names; I am definitely using them for some of my OCs. I was tempted by Ainia (its a palindrome and pretty and SQUEEEE!) and thanks for adding the origins and meanings because that makes it sooo much easier for me to add the names to my collection!**

**Athena Trouble- Thank you for your suggestions too! Artemis and Sophie are going into the collection! And I am soo happy you like the drabbles!**

**Iriskary- Seriously, writing ideas in notebooks has been a life saver for me. I want to write a Howl's Moving Castle Fic, but I have no idea where to start, but then I remember I had already written one (and it's seriously long too) so I can simply nick some ideas from that!**

**Guest (Apr 8)- Aww! I thought I sucked at fight scenes, so thanks for the feedback! Thank you also for the name suggestions!**

**Lexi- I need to finish the one you want me to post (seriously, it isn't finished) and thanks for the Lizards... :)**

**Skelly- I MADE YOU SPEECHLESS! NAWWW!**

**Insanity- You sound exhausted. Exams or what? My name is amazing!**

**DeadGirl- Hey! Thanks! I've been trying to read your fics, but they are soo long I can't read them all at once... :( On the plus side, it is long, so lots of reading! :)**

**Disclaimer- Yeah, I don't own Gracious or Donegan, but I do own the plot! And the fluffles! And my OCs! WOOH!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

Gracious O'Callahan and Donegan Bane were born on the same day at around the same time. They were placed in cots, side by side and pretty much became best friends since that moment. Their mothers, who had been friends with each other for a long time already, were often together, meaning the two boys were often together, getting up to all sorts of mischief.

Donegan learnt magic first; both of them could still remember the day when, whilst they had been sitting in the big tree by the river that curled through the village they lived in, the taller boy made a flame. They had both been practicing the technique and Gracious was so surprised that Donegan had actually created fire that he fell out of the tree, breaking his arm on the way down.

A week of bed rest for the shorter boy meant that he caught up with his best friend in no time at all and soon the two five year olds were skipping round, lobbing fireballs at each other until their mothers came out to stop them.

"If you are not careful, a mortal is going to see you," scolded Elysia Venka, Donegan's mother.

Elena Darnell, Gracious' mother, nodded in agreement. "If you want to practice you magic, you will have to be careful not to do it where other people can see you."

They had been so serious about it that the two boys nodded and practiced near the big tree. Barely any mortals came down here as most thought it to be haunted by the ghost of a man who was once hung there and it was only if you stood on the hill above the alcove that you could see anyone. When they found out the tree was hollow, the two boys decided to tidy the hole, making it into a comfortable den.

When they were seven, they met their first monster.

It wasn't a particularly big monster. Nor was it a particularly scary one, but for two still fairly small boys it was a huge success when they managed to defeat it.

It had pounced on them when they had been sitting inside the tree, planning their latest prank on the local schoolteacher, a strict man that they didn't like. The creature, which looked like a cross between a pigeon and a lizard, perched itself on Donegan's head, screeching, causing the taller boy to yelp in surprise whilst Gracious gave a small scream. The smaller boy quickly picked up the notebook they had been writing in, swatted at the creature so quickly that it didn't move away it time and suddenly it was squished against the inside of the tree.

They looked at it, the monster all crumpled and dazed before Donegan peeled it off.

Upon showing it to Ely, the red haired woman laughed. "That is a munchkin," she told them.

"I thought they were like little people," Gracious said, looking a bit unimpressed.

"They like to think that they are, but no. They are just really stupid monsters that get a little aggressive if their territory is invaded."

"Oh."

"Where did you find it?"

"At the big tree," Donegan explained.

"Ah. That explains why everyone in this village thinks it is haunted."

Gracious explained the incident to his mother when he got home.

"Mummy, can I be a monster hunter when I grow up."

Elena smiled. "You can be anything you want to be."

**If people are confused as to why G&amp;D are elementals, Landy explained that people start off with elemental powers and then move into their disciplines. THANKS FOR READING!- Leo Phthalo**


	4. No Matter What

_**Soooo, Leo is absolutely useless at writing Valith, so I went ahead and wrote fluffy angst!**_

**Yeah, Lexi had the ideas, whereas I am in writers block... **

**PHC will be updated soon (I promise, I am really sorry for the delay in updates, but of course, it has been a bit hectic recently, so give me a break.)**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Le Wild Leo- YOU BE DOING MY DIRTY WORK FOR ME!**

**Le Wild Lexi- Yep! Hope you enjoy a weird mix of angst and fluffles guys! **

**Leo- You clearly aren't Landy though. **

**Lexi- HOW DO YOU KNOW?**

**Leo- Derek would never write anyone as OOC as you did below. **

**Lexi- Oh, whoops... Sowy... It's good though! **

**Leo- Okay, fair enough... Hope you enjoy this, guys!**

**Lexi- Because we are still really busy, despite exams that are now over! I mean, seriously? Rehearsals every single day!**

**ON WITH THE STORY :)**

No Matter What

Tanith swung her leg over her bike, and strode up to the front door of the mansion, adjusting her leathers slightly. She knocked on the door and smiled as she heard footsteps running down the stairs and the door flew open to reveal Valkyrie Cain; her partner and girlfriend.

"You ready?" Tanith asked. Val nodded and grabbed her shoes and helmet.

"See ya mum!" Val yelled, waiting for the reply before shutting the door and following Tanith to the motorbike. She hopped on behind Tanith and wrapped her arms around the slender blonde's waist. Tanith smiled and started the motorbike, slowly pulling out the driveway until she hit the main road where the motorbike roared into life and flew down the road.

Tanith pulled up onto a large cliff overlooking the sea. It was a beautiful day with the sun reflecting off the sea producing a sea of diamonds. The cliff was secluded and as such, the two women were alone; exactly what they wanted.

Tanith swung her leg over the bike in what Val thought was an incredibly sexy way and so she took her helmet, put it on the handlebars and followed Tanith to a point near the edge of the cliff.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Tanith asked, threading her fingers through Val's.

"Hmm" Val said absentmindedly. Tanith smiled, turning to face Val. She brought her hand up to Val's face and gently brushed a stray lock of hair from the younger girl's face, leaving her hand on her cheek. Tanith slowly leaned in, her eyes closing slightly, her head tilting. She was surprised and worried when Val pulled away. Tanith looked up to see Val looking at the grass, obviously uneasy.

"What's wrong?" Tanith asked, worried. She knew that Val had never been with another woman before and she knew the idea of it scared the young necromancer at times. Ever since Tanith revealed how she felt about Val, how deeply she was in love with her after the remnant was pulled out of her. She shuddered at the mere memory of the remnant.

"It's nothing" Val said, still not looking up at Tanith. Tanith lifted Val's chin, forcing her to look into her eyes. Tanith searched her eyes and could instantly see that something was up with the girl.

"I know that's not true, Val. You can tell me." Tanith said gently, watching Val sigh as she decided to let her in. She let go of Val's face and put her hands comfortingly on her shoulders slowly rubbing them.

"It's just that, I've been talking to my mum and I don't think she would approve of us" Val said slowly as Tanith tilted her head, signalling the girl to carry on. "Well, last night at dinner, we were talking and my dad brought up this gay couple at his work and my mum called it a 'filthy dirty habit that is disgraceful'". Val said, starting to get choked up as she thought on what her mum said. "She called them names and I had to go ahead and laugh and agree. I had to agree Tanith!" Val shouted, getting more distressed by the second. Tanith wrapped her arms around the girl, pulling her in for a tight hug. She held Val whilst violent sobs wracked her small body; it was heart-breaking to watch.

As Val started to calm down and only the occasional sob was heard, Tanith started to sing softly, still holding her girlfriend.

"_No matter what they tell us_" Val closed her eyes; she had never heard Tanith sing. She had the most beautiful voice, like silk. "_No matter what they do_" Tanith stroked Val's hair as she sang. "_No matter what they teach us, what we believe is true_."

_"__No matter what they call us. However they attack. No matter where they take us; we'll find our own way back_" Tanith held Val by the shoulders, gently pulling her away and looking her straight in the eye, telling her to listen to the words of the song.

_ "__If only tears were laughter_" Tanith wiped away Val's tears with her thumb, smiling when Val pressed her head into Tanith's hand. "_If only night was day. If only prayers were answered, then we would hear God say."_

"_No matter what they tell you. No matter what they do. No matter what they teach you, what you believe is true_." Val listened to Tanith's voice, losing herself in the melody and the lyrics, so relevant to their situation.

"_No matter who they follow, no matter where they lead. No matter how they judge us, I'll be everyone you need_!" Tanith sang, smiling as Val obviously cheered up. "_No matter if the sun don't shine, or if the skies are blue. No matter what the end is, my life began with you!"_

_ "__I can't deny what I believe; I can't be what I'm not. I know our love's forever, that's all that matters now no matter what."_ The song ended and Val kissed Tanith. The kiss was soft and sweet, letting Tanith know she had understood the song and how Tanith would always be there for her no matter what. They kissed until rain started to fall, slowly at first and then in a downpour. The two girls rushed to the bike as Tanith started it and raced it home in the pouring rain. When they got to the mansion, Val got off the bike and stopped in front of Tanith.

"Come in with me please" Val said softly. Tanith nodded and slid off the bike, threading her fingers through Val's. The two walked hand-in-hand to the front door, the rain soaking the leathers they wore. Val took a deep breath and knocked on the door as Tanith squeezed her hand reassuringly. The door opened to reveal Val's mother at the door.

"Mum, I have something to tell you."

**So this song is from a show called Whistle Down the Wind and is called No Matter What, it is a really cute song. Anywho please read and review :)**


	5. Rage

**Yay! I wrote another one! Sorry about the wait for this.**

**Also, ANGST AND RAGE ALERT AHEAD. I decided to torture you guys because whilst I totally ship Larrikin/Anton, I was not in the mood to write fluff. Sorry!**

**Oh yeah, review replies for the last couple of drabbles (I hope I get you all, but sorry if I miss you. Its been a while.)**

**Insanity- I'm glad you like. There aren't many Donegan and Gracious fics and really there should be more, because they are both freaking adorable!**

**Skelly- Me too! They are like twins from different wombs (that sounds soo strange, but meh) and I really wanted to write my take on how they first met (in my case, since birth)**

**Phoebe Pleasant- YAY! NOT OOC! ACHIEVEMENT! Ainia is a wonderful name, but I'm not sure I will use it any time soon. It's on my names list on the profile though! At least, I think it is.**

**Lexi- I'll think about it, K? (about the second point, you've already gone and written a Valith for me...)**

**Bella Pleasant- We all love Dead Girl... I still haven't done much reading though of her stuff, but everytime I've dabbled into her stories, they've been great. Oh yeah! Chapter 33 of PHC is up! Go read if you haven't already!**

**Squishy- Yeah, Lexi was obsessed with that song for a while. She loves it... And HERE BE YOUR SHUDDERKIN! HERE!**

**ishipthem- Of course! I like Aurora, but I might need to re-read Maleficent Seven to work out the relationship between Dex and her. Don't worry, that is now on the list!**

**DISCLAIMER**

**Lexi- Oh, whoops, I forgot to put review replies in the last update.**

**Leo- Yes, you did...**

**Lexi- Sorry?**

**Leo- *looks at lexi in annoyance**sighs* Fine... It's fine... I'm stealing your other BFF, but it's fine...**

**Lexi- Oh, phew, I was worried that I... Wait, what?**

**Leo- Oops, did I just say that? Alright, Idon'townSkullyP,allbelongstoLandy,Ineedtorunaway...**

**Lexi- WHERE IS MY OTHER BFF? ARE YOU HOARDING HER, OR WHAT?! BEEBIES!?**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

Anton had never been very good with dealing with his emotion, unless, of course, it was rage. Rage was easy to deal with; he just let the gist take over and whatever had infuriated him initially would be gone when he came back to himself.

On the other hand, he was very good at suppressing his emotions. If he felt anything other than something he understood and could deal with, he shoved it to the back of his mind.

Unless it was Larrikin.

Larrikin was cheerful all the time, always fooling around and being stupid. Anton wasn't sure why he was even allowed on the team, but kept quiet and reserved about his opinions.

Larrikin also frustrated him.

All the time.

In many ways.

Anton was not one to joke around. He thought it was silly to do so, particularly when lives were at stake and yet here was a man who just didn't seem to care about anything whatsoever, not even the lives of some people.

And yet for some inexplicable reason, he was somewhat attracted to the blue eyed man with the mouse brown hair that stuck out from his head at all times. He was everything that Anton wasn't, and yet he still captivated the brooding man's attention at all times.

"Don't do anything stupid, alright?" Anton growled at him as the team prepared to make their assault.

"When do I do anything stupid?" Larrikin said, grinning broadly, a spark of mischief in his eyes and then he lept over the ridge, the others following him over.

Anton shook his head. "Always."

They all threw themselves into action, the seven of them working flawlessly, hacking through the enemy until they reached their ultimate target.

Serpine stood in front of them all, looking unfazed about the destruction they had caused. "So, you've come to try and kill me."

"Damn right we have," Skulduggery muttered as he disposed of another mage.

Erskine gave a dry laugh at his comment. "Sorry to have to ruin your day."

"Oh don't worry, I'm sure it won't be that bad." Anton watched as Dexter leapt forward, followed closely by Saracen and Larrikin, all three of them ready to attack. Anton stayed back, knowing he had to save his energy in case the gist was required, Skulduggery, Erskine and Ghastly by his side, ensuring that the others were in the clear to focus their attack on Serpine only.

"You think you can defeat me?" Serpine yelled, his voice cutting through the chaos.

"I bloody hope so," Dexter yelled back.

Anton looked round as he reloaded his gun, watching as Dexter collected pure energy in the palms of his hands.

And then the glove was pulled off.

In a split second, everything had changed. Saracen was holding Dexter, who was looking winded and confused. Larrikin was on the floor, writhing and screaming, the dreaded red hand trained on his body as he yelled, unable to control his limbs. Skulduggery and Ghastly whipped around, taking in the situation.

"Shit." Ghastly muttered.

"Saracen! Dex! Back down!" Skulduggery cried, as he tugged at Anton and Ghastly.

Anton stood, frozen to the spot. "Larrikin!"

"Anton!" Ghastly was yelling. "We need to leave now!"

They all stared in disbelief as Larrikin was tortured until suddenly everything was still. Serpine turned to face them.

Anton stood at the front. "You killed him," he whispered.

"And you will join him soon." Serpine told them, raising his hand again.

"Oh, I don't think so," the man said, glaring up at him in pure fury.

He let the rage consume him and the gist burst from his chest.

**Yeah, sorry about that. I wrote Larrikin's death scene. And there isn't much Shudderkin at all... Um, sorry? I'll make it up to all you guys... Erk... 0~0**

**-Leo**


	6. Well, that was unexpected

**Hey! Its Lexi here (again) I know I'm writing a lot of Valith but that's coz Leo is rubbish at it. So this was just a little random fluff but hey I'm good at random shit :)**

**Disclaimer: **

**Leo: Thish ish my story, you're not allowed to write my shtuff!**

**Lexi:..Leo…**

**Leo: Wha?**

**Lexi: Go home…**

**Leo: Why?**

**Lexi: You're drunk**

**Leo: No! I'm jush a bit tipsy is all *spins and falls flat on face***

**Lexi: *shakes head sadly* you only had one glass! Anywho, we are obviously not as fabulous as Derek Landy and don't own any of this, enjoy :)**

Well, This Was Unexpected…

Tanith slowly opened her eyes and turned on her side, frowning when no warm body welcomed her. She sat up, her blonde her falling around her face. She sat up slowly, making sure to pull the white crop top she was wearing down slightly although not enough to cover her toned stomach. She listened for sounds and frowned even more when she heard choked coughs coming from the bathroom. She slowly swung her legs off the bed and walked over to the bathroom door, gingerly knocking on the white wood.

"Val?" she asked tentatively "You alright?" She put her hand on the handle of the door and was about to push the door when it swung open revealing an unusually pale Valkyrie Cain. Val nodded still looking queasy. Tanith took the younger necromancer in her arms, feeling arms wrap around her waist. Tanith pressed her lips softly to Val's hair which was slick with sweat. "Are you sure?" Tanith asked again, worried about her girlfriend as this was the 5 time this week Val had been sick.

"I'm fine" Val replied, her eyes closed as she leaned against Tanith. Tanith pulled Val away from her chest, searching the younger woman's eyes.

"Maybe you should go back to bed" Tanith suggested. Val shook her head vigorously.

"No, I'm fine now. Honestly" she said as Tanith looked unconvinced.

"Fine" Tanith agree grudgingly "But if you throw up again I'm taking you to Kenspeckle and you are so clearing up that mess" she said, smiling as Val chuckled softly.

"Ok, seems fair" she said, reaching up to kiss Tanith softly on the lips before moving to get dressed in her black leathers. They got to the Sanctuary a few minutes late, despite Tanith breaking several speed limits on her bike. They strode off to meet with Skulduggery Pleasant and Ghastly Bespoke, both of whom were close friends and love interests of the women at points; Tanith and Val enjoyed making them feel awkward by kissing in front of them but not today as Val was still quiet and pale and Tanith was constantly glancing worriedly at her. Even Skul and Ghastly knew something was up with the necromancer as she hardly laughed or cracked a smile the whole day. The tipping point for Tanith was halfway through the day when Val fainted. They had been in Skul's office discussing various cases when Tanith noticed Val looking even paler than before. She saw Val's eyes roll back and caught her as the necromancer's knees buckled. Tanith lifted her up and ran towards were Kenspeckle had his office. She burst through the door and immediately laid Val on an empty bed before yelling for Kenspeckle. The old man came hobbling out muttering under his breath as he saw a worried Tanith holding the limp hand of an unconscious Valkyrie.

"What happened?" he asked gruffly as he took the stethoscope from around his neck. Tanith proceeded to tell him everything from the sickness in the morning to the faint. Kenspeckle nodded and looked thoughtful as he listened to Val's heartbeat. Val's eyes fluttered open and Tanith squeezed her hand more tightly. "Miss Low could you wait outside?" he said slowly.

"What?! Why?!" Tanith demanded looking shocked at the doctor.

"I need to speak to Miss Cain alone" he said slowly. Tanith opened her mouth to protest but closed it again as Val nodded her head slightly. She stormed out the door slamming it as she went. She sank down the wall and put her head on her knees as she waited.

It was several heart-wrenching minutes before Kenspeckle came out the door, noticing the adept on the floor. He cleared his throat causing Tanith to look up sharply.

"Valkyrie would like to speak to you" he said softly, walking away as the blonde practically raced into the room and to the bedside of the young necromancer. She grabbed Val's hand and kissed her forehead, eyes glistening with worry.

"Tanith, sit down" Val said softly, sitting up looking slightly shocked and unsure of how to proceed. Tanith's stomach dropped as she reached for the chair, not letting go of Val's hand.

"What is it?" Tanith asked carefully, not sure if she wanted to know the reason Val was acting so odd.

"Kenspeckle examined me" Val said slowly as if picking her words and considering them before she spoke "and well, erm, I don't know how to tell you this" she admitted as Tanith's heart raced as she mentally prepared herself for the worst. "I'm pregnant" Val said in a rush. Tanith looked shocked. She blinked several times not believing her ears. Val was pregnant? But how could this be? The answer came to her immediately; Magic. "Tanith?" Val asked unsure, her voice wavering as the blonde remained transfixed, her mouth agape. "I'm sorry, I know this is sudden and I don't know what to do and…" Val was cut off by Tanith's lips on hers, gentle at first but then the kiss deepened as Tanith ran her tongue along Val's lips. The women parted gasping for breath.

"This is by far the happiest day of my life" Tanith said finally beaming down at her girlfriend.

"Mine too" Val said "I was worried for a minute there" she admitted.

"You have nothing to worry about" Tanith said "I will love both of you" she said, tentatively putting a hand on Val's flat stomach. She smiled as Val place a hand on top of hers.

"Now to tell the boys" Val said, laughing with Tanith at the thought of the inevitable conversation, the love between them undeniable and unwavering.

**Yes I know completely random fluffles and OOC but do I care? No. if you liked it please read and review and tell us what you think and any prompts for any ship are welcome via either PM or review. Lexi does the Valith and Leo does the rest (although Lexi is happy to try Chinduggery for a laugh). See ya soon :)**


	7. The Love we leave behind

**Hey peeps Lexi again (I know it's terrible but you love me really) so this is again Valith but I have an idea for a Chinduggery which will hopefully be up soon so not long China Sorrows Worshipper :) Now, advanced warning for potential language and MAJOR feels, you have been warned and I am soooo sorry in advance for this, please don't kill me.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Leo: ….**

**Lexi: Leo?**

**Leo: …**

**Lexi: Are you gonna talk to me?**

**Leo: *pouting* no**

**Lexi: Why?**

**Leo: You mean and I'm not talking to you**

**Lexi: Ok yeah I know its evil…sowy but the idea just came to me….forgive me?**

**Leo: No *walks out door***

**Lexi: Ok, this is gonna take a while so I own nothing, all is Derek Landy's and I would say enjoy but the feels are just too much so again sorry but please leave a comment while I try and appease Leo.**

The Love we leave behind

Valkyrie woke up looking over to her girlfriend who was still asleep, her golden hair spread around her like a halo. She decided not to wake her and she showered and got dressed, leaning over to gently kiss Tanith on the forehead and brush a stray lock of hair out her eyes before heading out the door and to the sanctuary for work. As the door shut, Tanith's eyes fluttered open and she contemplated getting up. She eventually swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat there looking at her feet while she tried to push memories of the nightmares she had again that night. She shook her head and stood up, going over to the desk, grabbing a pen and a sheet of paper taking a deep breath as she put pen to paper. _I'm sorry, Val _she thought to herself as she began to write.

_My dear Valkyrie and all to whom this letter concerns, I am so so sorry but this is the only way._

Valkyrie walked into the sanctuary nodding to the Cleavers. She walked to her shared office smiling at Skulduggery who was sat with his feet up on the desk.

"Hey Val, how's Tanith?" he asked softly.

"She's doing better" Val responded sitting down "she still has the nightmares though".

"She did have a remnant inside her" he pointed out.

"Yeah I know" Val snapped before sighing "It's just that" she paused trying to find the words "I want to help her but she won't open up. Sometimes she'll start talking but then she'll just shut down. I don't know what to do Skul". She said exasperated.

"You just have to give her time to heal" Skul said patiently used to Val's outbursts. "It has got better since she got romantically involved with you" he said matter-of-factly as Val shot him a look saying 'really'?

"I suppose" she said, leaning back in the chair and flicking through a magazine by her chair.

Meanwhile, at the desk, Tanith was still sat at the desk writing although it was getting harder and harder to see through the tears that threatened to spill.

_Val, I wish we had more time together. Before the remnant and you should know that I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you in China's library that day, you looked so lost and adorable that I couldn't help but fall in love. When I told you how I felt about you, I was so nervous that my hands were shaking and I was so shocked when you said yes and kissed me. I'm so sorry that I have been a burden on you and I'm so grateful that you put up with me but now I think it's time I stopped pretending. I appreciate that you tried to figure me out but I'm a paradox. I want to be happy but I think of all those evil things I did. I want to get better but I'm not willing to try. I say I don't care but I really do. I crave attention and help yet I reject it when it comes my way. I'm a conflicted contradiction. If I can't figure myself out, there's no way anyone can. I am so sorry for all those people I've hurt and it kills me that I did those things with Sanguine. I'm ashamed and disgusted at myself and I love you all the more that you can see past all that and just see the old Tanith. And Ghastly, his death is what haunts me the most. I can't get over his death and it's this that hurts the most. I love you Valkyrie Cain but sometimes, love just isn't enough and I am so sorry that I led you on this morbid dance of hate and self-loathing. I hope that one day you can forgive me but for now, I'll be happy with the knowledge that someone loved me, even for a short while. I'm gonna miss you Val and I don't want you to be sad, this is for the best. Do me a favour and tell Skulduggery that he's a douche but a great friend and tell him to look out for you or I'll be back! Finally, I gift you my sword as I no longer have need for it. May you use it better than I have. _

When Tanith had finished, she leant back in the chair, put the pen down and then picked up her phone and sent one final text.

Val felt her phone buzz and she picked it up, looking at the text.

**I'm so sorry, please forgive me-Tanith**

Val frowned. Then it hit her. _Oh god! _She jumped up and ran out the door, followed quickly by Skulduggery who picked up on her panic. She ran back to her apartment, shouting in frustration when the key wouldn't go in. She kicked down the door and froze. She saw feet, dangling in mid-air. She raised her eyes and fell to the ground as she looked upon Tanith's face, her eyes open and unseeing. Val sat there in shock, her brain not comprehending what she saw. Skulduggery walked past Val's body and up to Tanith's. He cut the rope holding Tanith's body up and he caught the lifeless body and set her gently on the bed, her hair a halo around her head. He then spotted a piece of paper on the desk, picking it up he saw the writing and handed it to Valkyrie who was now standing over Tanith's lifeless body, tears now swimming in her eyes. She looked over the paper, reading aloud the smudged writing where Tanith had been crying. When she got to the final line, she was crying so hard that Skulduggery had to read it for her.

_Thank you for all that you have done. My life was perfect when I met you but now, even love has been left behind. The remnant would have destroyed my heart if you hadn't stolen it first. I thank you once again and again I'm sorry for everything I've done. When you find my body, please burn it and scatter the ashes in London that is my only request._

_Yours forever and for always,_

_Tanith Low_

**…****.I'm ashamed of myself….If it's any consolation, I cried while writing it. I will do a fluffy one next I promise! Well actually it's gonna be a comedic Chinduggery hopefully. Please leave a review and hope you don't hate me too much…**


	8. Boredom's Curse

**Hi, Lexi again. Sowy about the last chapter but it had to be done, I got the idea in my head and it had to be written down. So this is just a little (very random and OOC) Chinduggery which I've never written before so apologies in advance.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Lexi: Leo, have you forgiven me yet?**

**Leo: Mostlyimi**

**Lexi: Yay :)**

**Leo: But you're still not as fabulous as Derek Landy so you can't own Skully P**

**Lexi: Damn...on with the story**

Boredom's Curse

Skulduggery sat with his feet up on the desk. He was spinning his hat around on one gloved finger and if he had any lips, he'd be chewing them. He was definitely bored. The Sanctuary had no jobs for him and Valkyrie was on a job with Tanith so even his own girlfriend couldn't distract him. _Oh enough is enough_ he thought to himself as he swung his leg off the desk, jumping out of his chair, grabbing his jacket as he strode out the door. He stormed through corridor, not bothering to spare the Cleavers who guarded the entrance a glance. He unlocked the car and started the engine and raced off down the road.

The car pulled up outside Ghastly Bespoke's shop and Skulduggery got out the car, making sure to lock it before opening the door of the shop. Ghastly turned his scarred head and sighed as he saw his friend.

"Skulduggery" he said "What can I do for you?" he asked before narrowing his eyes slightly and folding his arms. "Have you ripped another one of my suits?" he asked accusingly. Skulduggery shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets.

"No, I just thought I'd come and say hello, it's been ages since we last talked" he explained while Ghastly frowned slightly.

"We talked yesterday" he said. Skulduggery cocked his head to the side.

"So we did" he contemplated, looking back to Ghastly. The tailor crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"You got bored didn't you?" he asked resigned. Skulduggery shrugged as Ghastly sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry Skulduggery but you have to go. I'm really busy today." he said, turning back to his work as Skulduggery turned out the door. He drove off muttering to himself. He pulled up outside the library, hoping to kill some time with the hundreds of books. He walked through the door and inhaled the scent of all the old books. He walked slowly through the shelves, trailing his hand over the spines of the books. He was so engrossed with the books that he didn't see the person in front of him until it was too late. He crashed into a woman holding a stack of books which tumbled out her arms.

"Watch it!" she shouted, turning to face the idiot who hit her. "Oh, Skulduggery, what a Pleasant surprise" she purred, giggling at her pun, demeanour instantly changed.

"China" Skulduggery said, sounding unimpressed "I would apologise but its you so I fear it would be wasted." China pouted, feigning hurt and upset.

"Now, now that isn't very nice" she drawled, smiling as Skulduggery remained unimpressed. She grinned wider and stepped closer to Skulduggery, gripping the lapels of his jacket to pull him to her. She looked up at him and bit her lip in a very erotic manner. Skulduggery out his hands on her shoulder, attempting to push her away but she held on.

"China, what are you doing?" he asked suspiciously, not liking where this was going.

"Well" China said slowly, reaching under Skulduggery's shirt to touch the symbol causing a face to slide up his skull. "I'm planning to 'do' you" she said cheekily, smiling as Skulduggery's new eyes widened. He tried to pull away but China was too quick. She reached up and pressed her lips to his. His reaction was unexpected; he kissed her back. He moved his lips with hers, enjoying the way she gasped when he slipped his tongue into her mouth and the way she pressed her body to his. She broke away gasping for breath. She smiled up at him as he held her around the waist. She reached up and touched the symbol again, melting the face away, leaving bone. She glanced out the corner of her eye and smiled even wider.

"We have an audience" she whispered in his ear, smirking as Skulduggery turned his head and, if possible, his skull turned even whiter with shock and fear.

"Valkyrie"


	9. Esacalations

**Hey guys! So sorry we haven't updated in ages but Lexi has work now (yeah I know, I'm just as surprised) and I just need to get my butt in gear. Lexi has written a sequel to the Chinduggery to the request of a few people. **

**Libertied Insanity: No I do not hate you, I don't take hate comments (even though yours wasn't at all) personally and I rather take them as constructive critism which I need more of :)**

**Disclaimer:**

**Leo: Ow...**

**Lexi: Jeesh, are you still going on about your tooth?**

**Leo: Yes well it hurts! You didn't chip your tooth!**

**Lexi: No, I was just the first person to flip out the raft and get hit with multiple oars...**

**Leo: Yeah well, it was your idea to go white water rafting!**

**Lexi: You enjoyed it!**

**Leo: True but you know what I don't enjoy?**

**Lexi: What?**

**Leo: Not owning Skully P which goes to Le Golden God Derek Landy.**

**Lexi: Eh, moving on, a warning for this one (two) shot, it gets a little steamy towards the end, not quite M but getting there so if you don't like, don't read that bit just skip it.**

Escalations

Escalations

"Valkyrie" Skulduggery looked shocked as Valkyrie Cain stood in front of him, slack-jawed and disbelieving the sight before her. "I can explain" he said, stepping out of China's grasp. Val put her hand up to stop him, closing her eyes.

"Don't" she said softly "Just, don't" she said, turning round and walking out the door, head bowed in shame and regret. Tanith, who had been stood there awkwardly, turned to China.

"You are despicable" she hissed before following Val out the door. China smiled and wrapped her arms around Skul again.

"Now" she purred seductively "Where were we?" she pouted when Skul pushed her away and shook his head. "What?" she said, annoyed now as she folded her arms "Am I not good enough for you now?" she asked the infuriating skeleton as he paced after the two women. "You know I'm better for you Skulduggery!" she called after him before turning back to her books.

He saw Val round the corner of the building, leaning against Tanith who had her arms wrapped around the young necromancer who was sobbing into the Adept's shoulder. She looked up when she heard footsteps. When she saw Skully, she stood up straight and wiped her eyes as Tanith stood with one hand on her shoulder comfortingly. She glared at the detective as he put a hand on the back of his neck.

"Listen, Val" he tried to say put Val shook her head.

"No, stop. I don't want to hear it" she said, her voice hiccupping from the tears threatening to fall. "How could you?" she asked, staring straight into Skulduggery's empty eye sockets. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Val, please, it was China" he tried to explain, stopping at Tanith's glare as he took a step forward, he quickly retreated.

"I clearly saw you Skulduggery Pleasant! You were loving it weren't you?" She accused, angry tears now falling. "What is my tongue not as skilled as hers? Is that it?" She was yelling now, getting ever more distressed. Skulduggery put his head in his hands, trying to get his facts straight. "What does she have that I don't?" she yelled, eyes hardening.

"Everything!" Skul finally yelled back. Val took a step back surprised. "She doesn't question my every move, she loves me the way I am and she isn't afraid to change my appearance for her own gain and I love that!" he shouted, whipping his head up.

"Well maybe you should go and be with your true love then!" Val yelled straight back. "What are you waiting for?" she said, quieter now.

"Fine" he said, turning away and walking back to the library. He could hear Val sobbing and Tanith trying to console her behind him but he refused to look back. Val couldn't understand, she was too constrictive and he made her mad; forever arguing and never getting anywhere. Not to mention the physical side of relationship. Val was never willing to go further than kissing when he craved so much more. China would give that to him willingly and instantly if he so desired, which he did. He strode through the door, head held high. He found China and walked up behind her. He spun her round to face him and ignoring her little gasp of shock and indignation, he kissed her; his teeth hitting hers in a desperate passion. He didn't care when she touched the symbol on his shoulder causing a face to slide up. He immediately thrust his tongue into her mouth, forcing a fierce battle for dominance. When he finally pulled away, China was breathless and flushed, pushed against him, feeling his every curve.

"So, you picked me?" She asked, she smirked and was about to say something else but she was cut off by Skulduggery's lips against hers. She was caught by surprise when he slammed her against the bookshelf and put his hands either side of her head, trapping her body against his. She kissed him harder and pressed her body into his, wanting more. She let her hands wander until she found his tie, yanking it off, not breaking her kiss. Her hands travelled down his jacket and buttons, ripping them off viciously trying to get to the new body beneath. She put her hands on his chest, muscular and strong. She gasped as he ripped the front of her blouse, revealing her bra beneath. Her hands wandered to his belt but he stopped her before she could pull that off too.

"Not here" he answered when she gave him a questioning look. She grinned and took his hand, leading him into her office which was secluded with tinted windows. She pulled him in and for the next hour, all in the library avoided the office where the sounds of pleasure were heard very clearly through the walls. She was going to have to do something about that afterwards, put a silence charm on the walls or something.

They emerged after there, spiel, completely unruffled. China straightening her hair whilst Skulduggery put his hat and jacket back on before turning to China and kissing her gently on the lips; a stark contrast to the aggression shown earlier.

"We'll have to do that again sometime" he whispered in her ear.

"Tomorrow?" China asked, a smile gracing her lips as she thought of the wonderful disasters that would happen if Valkyrie Cain just happened to walk in on her and Skulduggery having sex. Oh that would be too good she thought, a plan formulating in her mind. She waved Skulduggery goodbye and got to work on her scheme. She was enjoying this far too much; the damage she would cause. She smile devishly.

**Hoped you enjoyed, please leave a comment for me and hope it wasn't too disturbing. Leo kept saying ew, the entire way through but that's just her opinion! Please review and we shall start another one (any pairing) soon-bye :)**


	10. What in the blazes?

**Whelp…. it's been a while. Really, really sorry about that but me and Leo have started A Levels which quite frankly suck! But I had an idea and so decided to go with it. It's the final chapter of the Chinduggery shots and you are all gonna hate me I am so sorry I apologise in advance. Please read and review, and we promise we will update soon! Enjoy-Lexi :)**

**Disclaimer:**

**Lexi: What do you say?**

**Leo: Sowy**

**Lexi: For what?**

**Leo: PHC….it will get updated, promise**

**Lexi: Well it better coz you know what?**

**Leo: What?**

**Lexi: We still don't own Skully P, the wonderful Derek Landy does**

**Leo: Dammmit**

What in the Blazes

China sat at her desk, an evil smile playing about her ruby red lips. With a final flourish of her pen, she finished writing the note before her, re-reading what she wrote before folding the paper carefully and placing it into an envelope. She put the name on the front and walked out her office, handing the letter to one of her many minions with clear instructions on who to give it to and not to be seen. She watched the elemental she chose walk out the door before sauntering back to her office, smiling at her own wickedness; her plan was set, now all she had to do was wait for the perfect moment to strike.

**Gordon's Mansion, 12:30pm**

Valkyrie Cain was sat, curled up on the sofa next to her friend, Tanith Low, eating popcorn whilst watching a particularly violent movie. She was still devastated by Skulduggery's betrayal, even though she tried not to show it. Suddenly, a knock on the door startled both women, causing popcorn to fly everywhere. Valkyrie cursed, as she sat up and put what was left of the popcorn on the small coffee table next to her. She walked over to the door, only to find a letter sticking out of the rectangular letter box which she put in after getting annoyed at having to answer the door every time the postman had something for her. She gently pulled the envelope out the door, frowning slightly at the curly writing on the front, instantly recognising Skulduggery's writing. She walked back into the living room, sitting down next to Tanith, still staring at the letter.

"What is it?" Tanith asks, moving closer to read over Valkyrie's shoulder as she opens the letter.

_My dearest Valkyrie,_

_I must apologise for my atrocious behaviour over the past few days, I have no idea what came over me. I loathe China and you know this, she must have done something to me. I love you and only you. Please, meet me at my house today at 3, we can talk things over; the door will be open, just let yourself in._

_Yours,_

_Skulduggery_

Valkyrie turned slightly as she heard a sharp intake of breath. Tanith sat there looking sceptical.

"Don't go Val" she warned, seeing her friend torn between her head and her heart.

"But what if he means it?" Val whispered, longing in her heart. "What if he's right and China did something to him?"

"Are you crazy?" Tanith almost shouts "Do you not remember what he said to you?"

"Yes I'm not an idiot!" Val shouts back, angry at her friend for not understanding how much this means for her, how much hurt when she saw the man (well skeleton) she loves kissing that filthy, lying, backstabbing bitch.

"Then stop acting like one" Tanith says, raising her voice even more.

"Oh like you when Ghastly turned himself to stone?" Val yelled, instantly regretting her harsh words as she saw the adept visibly flinch. "Oh shit Tanith, I didn't mean…" Val started quietly, shame and guilt lacing her words.

"No, its fine." Tanith said calmly. "You're right, you are an adult and know what to do with your life. If you want to see him then go, who am I to stop you?" She gets up to leave, Val not stopping her as she walks out the front door. Val puts her head in her hands as she hears Tanith's bike start up and drive off down the road.

"What have I done?" she whispers to herself.

**Skulduggery's house, 2:50pm**

A knock at the door startled Skulduggery from his boredom. He stood to get the door, cocking his head when he saw China stood in front of him.

"Are you going to let me in?" she asks sarcastically. Skul just stepped out the way and gestured for China to come in. She smiled as he shut the door, almost instantly jumping on the skeleton, pressing the symbol on his collarbone sliding flesh between her fingers. China moaned in pleasure as she felt Skul's hands slip beneath her top, undoing her bra. She pushes him into the kitchen, pulling off his top as she moved, gasping in surprise as he flipped her over and forced her against the counter. He kissed her hard on the mouth, tongue fighting a battle for dominance, loving the way China moaned and grinded against his body. He ripped off her shirt, hands wondering all over her body, making her arch with pleasure. She reached down and yanked his trousers, throwing them on the floor along with all her other clothes, she didn't even realise that her skirt was among them. She pressed herself even further into Skulduggery, willing him to become one with her.

Suddenly, a door bangs shut. Skul quickly raises his head from where it had been buried in China's neck a moment before, looking in horror towards the sound.

"What the fuck?!" Val shouted, frozen in horror and shock at the sight before her.

"Val, what are you doing here?" Skul asked, his voice wavering slightly at the pure fury in his ex-girlfriend's eyes.

"Your note?" Val hints, barely controlled anger in her voice. "I can't believe I was so stupid. Tanith was right" she mutters to herself before turning to China, who was smirking smugly. Something in Val snapped, she conjured a fireball, hurling it at China who deflected it with a wave of her hand.

"Val stop!" Skul yelled, stepping between the two women as Val reached for her necromancer ring.

"Fine, but consider yourself an enemy and a traitor you fucking pig." She said darkly before turning and running out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Skul turned to China, who was still leaning against the counter smirking.

"You did this" Skul stated, glaring at the beautiful woman before him. China just shrugged and stood up straight. "You foul evil bitch!" Skul yelled, taking a step towards her. China rolled her eyes, looking bored and mildly disappointed as she waves her hand, wrapping Skul in invisible bonds.

"Apologies, Mr Pleasant" she says in a business-like tone "I didn't want it to come down to this but you leave me no choice." She lifts a large wooden bat from behind the counter, staring blankly as she whacks Skul over the head with it, watching as the skeleton crumples to the ground, unconscious.

Skulduggery woke, his head pounding. He went to cradle his skull before realising that he couldn't move his arms…or his legs. He looked down to see himself tied to a chair.

"Ah, you're awake" a bored voice says. He looked up to see China Sorrows looking down at him, a devilish smile on her pretty face.

"Is this some erotic fantasy?" Skul asks, cocking his head to the side as China chuckles and leans close to him, almost touching.

"No, although I must admit, you were very good with your tongue" she says suggestively, winking at the detective before drawing back and sitting gracefully on an armchair directly across from him. She crossed her legs and leaned forward, studying Skul.

"What are you plotting? Another break up?" Skul said, venom dripping from his voice. China just smiled and shook her head.

"Unfortunately not. Although that was fun, seeing the look of utter horror on the child's face." She clapped her hands in glee. "But no. My masters have a job for me but I decided to have a little fun before I did it."

"And what was your job? Torment Valkyrie?" He asks, straining against the bonds that held him. He looked up at China, her face impassive.

"No, my dear detective." She says quietly "My task, is to kill you." Skulduggery stills, staring as China slowly gets up and stalks toward him, like a panther hunting its prey. She picks up a red container and starts to tip it up, pouring black liquid all over him. He recognises it as oil. She was going to burn him. He started to struggle even more against the bonds that held him but it did no good, they just grew tighter and tighter. CRACK! He gasped in pain as one of his ribs broke under the strain of the bonds. China had just finished emptying the oil, and she moved over to the doorway. He thought he saw a hint of regret as she conjured a fireball in her hand and played with it before speaking.

"You know; I really did love being with you but Mevolent is just too powerful and plain terrifying. See ya round, Skully."

"No, China, wait!" Skul tried to yell but it was too late. She threw the fireball straight at his feet, immediately engulfing him in the inferno. China walked out the house, shutting her eyes to the screams of terror and agony from within as Skulduggery Pleasant burned alive. She walked back to the library, the screams haunting her as she sat in her office, a solitary tear making its way down one perfect cheek. She quickly wipes it away before sending an anonymous message to the Edgely Mansion.

Valkyrie burst through the door and ran down the road as quick as possibly, launching off a bridge and flying the rest of the way. She collapsed as she saw the destruction. The house was still burning. She summoned water and drowned the flames, running inside as soon as they subsided. She created a bubble of air around her to get through the smoke as she searched the house. She turned the corner into the kitchen and stopped dead. There were the remains of a chair and a pile of blackened, disintegrated bones that could only belong to one person. She fell to her knees and screamed at the ceiling. Her heart was ripped in two as she looked at the remains of the one person she truly loved. She felt tears streaming down her face and she let them, the grief too much to bear. She lay down in the soot next to the bones and let her grief and regret pour out of her. She hears an almighty rumble and knew that the building was about to fall on top of her but she couldn't bring herself to care, she just closed her eyes as the roof collapsed on top of her and her world went dark.

**Well, that escalated quickly…. bearing in mind that I haven't actually read the last two books yet please don't hate me for not actually knowing details of stuff but it was really OOC I know so apologies. Please read and review though and don't hate me too much?**


	11. Masquerade

**Wow, guys I am so sorry we haven't been updating but well yeah…A Levels (and IB) sucks! But I'm back with a (kind of) Valith (I think). Tis an AU so don't judge too much and just gonna pretend that Val and Skul are going out and that Skuls a dick (yes I know he's not he's fabulous but just for this pretend please?) Also just pretend that Val and China are best friends (ha!). Please read and leave a review and enjoy-Lexi :)**

**Disclaimer: No we do not own anything, we are no Le Golden God, Derek Landy**

Masquerade

I walk through the door, my sense of dread increasing with every step I take. I see the door slam shut, trapping me in the belly of the beast. I feel the walls closing in, there are too many people. The panic rises in my chest but I push it down, taking a deep breath and reaching up to check my mask is in place. When I was sure it was secure, I pushed through the crowd, focusing on my one goal; find him. He promised he would be here. I squirm through the crowded house, people crashing into me, their apologies slurred with the alcohol I could smell on their breath. I resisted the urge to gag as the smell of cheap beer wafted up my nose. There were too many people. They were pressing into me from all angles. I pushed past and climbed the stairs, hoping that he'd be there.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I climbed; the landing was clear of any people and I could feel my breathing ease. I heard a giggle from behind the closed door to my right. My heart stopped dead as I heard _his _voice.

"Shh, not so loud!" Another giggle and then a sultry reply.

"I thought you liked it loud?" My chest tightened as my heart sank even further. I knew that voice. I covered my mouth before the sobs could escape me and I double over, one hand grasping the bannister next to me. Tears were streaming down my face, making my mask wet. How could they betray me like that? I couldn't take it any longer. My knees collapsed and I fell to the floor, gasping for breath as I curled into a ball with silent sobs wracking my body. I clamped my hands over my ears when I heard the first moan.

I heard the creak of the stairs but I had no desire to move. I wanted to lie there and die. I felt a hand on my shoulder and a concerned voice.

"Val?" I felt myself being rolled gently towards the warm body. It was Tanith. She still had her half mask on, ghostly in the cheap lighting.

"What's wrong?" she asked me gently. I just shook my head and bowed it in shame. I registered the hand on my shoulder move to my back and wrap around me whilst her other arm shifted under my legs. I felt her muscles strain as she lifted me off the floor and cradled me close to her chest. I saw her mouth open to ask me another question but a loud moan interrupted her. Her head snapped towards the door and she looked at me with such fury in her eyes that I almost flinched.

"Is that him?" she asked, her voice dangerously low. I nodded and saw a muscle feather in her jaw before she turned and carried me down the stairs, past all the partiers and out the front door, placing me gently on the bench outside. The cool air was refreshing and I was thankful that my sobs had stopped.

Tanith reached up to my face and I stiffened.

"Relax." She said to me gently, a smile playing on her lips. "You still have your mask on." She chuckled as my face flooded with heat and colour. She reached behind my head and untied the knot with deft fingers. I felt a rush of cool air as the mask fell from my face. She then reached into her pocket and pulled out a handkerchief which she handed to me with a small smile which I returned as I wiped my eyes. She was so nice to me. She looked towards the bedroom window above us and strode off towards the open door. I saw her disappear but didn't bother to follow. I sat, clutching the handkerchief, jumping as I heard incomprehensible yelling from above me. I wondered how no one downstairs had heard it. _They're all drunk _I thought bitterly to myself. I heard a crash and glanced up towards the window. I hope Tanith hadn't been hurt.

I gave a sigh of relief when I saw her stalk down the stairs and out the front door to join me once again. She slumped as she sat her hands on her knees. Hands I noticed which were bleeding. I leaned forward and gently took her hand in mine.

"Are you alright?" I asked, astonished at how hoarse I sounded. She looked at me in surprise.

"Yes, thank you" came the reply, so soft I had to strain to hear her. "I knocked him out." She said after a moment, looking a bit lost. I squeezed her hand gently, looking her in the eyes as I said:

"Good. That bastard deserved it!" Tanith raised an eyebrow as her lips tugged upwards into a smile.

"Valkyrie Cain!" he admonished mockingly "who knew you to be capable of such language!" I blushed and gave a soft chuckle. It was true; I wasn't known for my bad language. But I just shrugged.

"He cheated on me with my best friend." I paused. "Ex- best friend" I corrected. We were silent for a moment before Tanith turned to me.

"Shall I walk you home?" She asked timidly, her normally gruff voice soft and melodious and sweet. I smiled and nodded, letting her pull me off the bench. I linked my arm with hers as we headed off for my home, only a few streets away.

I was surprised to find myself saddened when I got to my front door. I enjoyed her company; she made me feel comfortable and welcome and didn't mind my constant ramblings. It was so easy to talk to her, she never brushed me off. Not like Skulduggery who'd just used me as a kind of trophy and refused to talk about anything other than himself and his own achievements. No, I found myself liking this Tanith; the one she never showed anyone.

As we said goodbye, she wrapped her arms round me and hugged me tight. I returned in kind, feeling my heart flutter at the contact. She pulled back and held out my mask to me but I threw it into the bushes.

"China bought it" I said in response to her questioning look. She nodded and stood to her full height before bowing low.

"Good night, Miss Cain." She said, smiling as I curtsied in return.

"Good night, Miss Low." I watched her turn and walk away, only opening my front door when she turned a corner and was out of sight. I went straight to my room and changed into my comfy old shorts and t shirt that I used to sleep in. I had just closed my eyes, thinking of Tanith when a sudden realisation hit me. I'm in love with her. I burst into laughter at the thought. I can't be in love with her! Oh God, I am! This was going to make life very interesting. I fell asleep dreaming of the blond adept.


End file.
